The GOP Tax Scam reignites a long-simmering
debate on the true nature of economics
December 19, 2017
Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.
An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and makes you feel it's your fault.
The Natural Rate of Unemployment
Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
An economist who claimed an almost infallible record of accuracy predicted a fifty percent chance of a stock market crash the following day. Next day, when the market did not crash, he proclaimed "See, I told you so".
When Albert Einstein died, he met three Republicans in the queue outside the Pearly Gates.
To pass the time, he asked what were their IQ's. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity".
The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace".
The third Republican mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?"
- The Economist June 13th 1992
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal"?
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A#1: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
A#2: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!
A#3: None, they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.
- Wharton School of Business Journal Feb. 21, 1994.
One night, a policeman saw an economist looking for something in the glow beneath a light pole. The cop asked if he had lost something there? The economist said, "I lost my keys over in the alley." The cop asked him why he was looking by the light pole? The economist responded, "it's a lot easier to look over here."
A physicist, an engineer and an economist are stranded in the desert. They are hungry and find a can of corn. They want to open it, but how?
The physicist says: “Let’s start a fire and place the can inside the flames. It will explode and then we will all be able to eat”.
“Are you crazy?” says the engineer. “All the corn will burn and scatter, and we’ll have nothing. We should use a metal wire, attach it to a base, push it and crack the can open.”
“Both of you are wrong!” states the economist. “Where the hell do we find a metal wire in the desert?!
The solution is simple: Assume a can opener…”