My wife and Dr Donna ( Karen Lee Barrett and our partner Donna Wood ) thought it was time for a break from the Resistance and smell the roses - something that we will not be able to do if we don't get down and dirty in the yard. At their suggestion, I am offering this article from last year, we all hope you enjoy it. GS Jade Barrett - Bridgetourjade.
As has become a tradition for moi, I wake up one Spring day way too early and look at the space called a "yard". As yards go, it is a fine one - a few old trees, a couple of Lilac bushes and a peony planted by the previous owner somewhere around 50 years ago. A few flowers that have survived despite every effort I have made to be kind to them. In truth, I have come to realize that both the flowers and I are a lot happier when I practice benign neglect. But that does not prevent me from the annual flight of fancy that fills me with the confidence of a Master Gardener, prepared to challenge the forces of nature.
Sort of like the year I had decided to take the summer off and plant a REAL vegetable garden.
As luck would have it, my greenthumb blessed wife (and fellow Yabberz member) Karen Lee Barrett , kept my enthusiasm in check, and restricted me to planting only enough tomatoes to feed the Southern half of the Continental United States. Who knew that Romas reproduced with such fervor?
We still call it the "Year of Eternal Red Sauce".
Having been deprived of the necessary equipment to farm my 6 x 6 garden by my entirely too sensible spouse, I have decided to plant flowers to attract hummingbirds and honey bees. As many as I can in order to reduce my need to mow the lawn, for many years I wore this tee shirt:
Now I am allergic to bee stings, but its ok, I will be on the road for most of the summer and being a human better built for Vampire's hours, I should be snug in my bed just as those industrious little creatures start their busy work day. The Irish Cottage Garden approach, which I believe translates roughly into "too lazy to actually work at it".
I added this as an example of what I am sure I would accomplish if I hired somebody who actually knew what they were doing. And if I had large rocks.
I have also used the "Backyard Wild Bird Habitat" approach, which requires sticking stuff in the ground and letting nature take its course. For those in the know, this is a fine way to avoid lawn care, but make sure that you have somebody come around and put an official looking sign up in order to avoid the pesky neighborhood associations.
I can personally attest to the benefit of this approach, especially during the height of grass growing season. It does not hurt if a few birds actually show up to help strengthen your case.
In any event, I am girding my loins, confidently pulling on my gardening gloves while searching for the hoe and trowel that I know I have at least three of.
Another annual tradition: I always seem to buy new ones every spring - immediately before finding the ones I did not use last year in the back of the garage. All while soaking my seeds the way the experts do.
But don't tell my wife, I want her to think I figured it out all on my own.