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There Are Good People....

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      So, my car is fixed. I feared the worst with my car...in the end it cost me about $100 bucks. I bought the parts...the guy who did the work, Brian Rhodes, husband of my DC...would not take any money. I finally got him to take $20 for gas for several trips to auto parts store and my place to fix...and took him and his wife (my DC) out for lunch. Also a thanks to my neighbor, Amanda, who loaned me some ramps so that my car could be worked on.

      There really are some good people in the world, and I am grateful. May I one day be so fortunate as to finally be able to be on the giving end of help!!

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      Untitled Story

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          Untitled Manuscript

          If I could turn back time, I’d turn it back to the day I went to the Coachlight Motel, just north of Mesilla, nestled in an interstate interchange area that sees a lot of travelers. I would go back to the moment I was in that motel room, with Jo and Jess, a black diamond ring in my pocket, ready to take on the biggest thing I had ever considered. It is in that moment that the entire world ended, the teacup shattered, the heart was broken. Because, as I was readying my nerves, she is on the phone, and I can only hear one side of the conversation. She is talking to someone named Steven. Some guy she met at a party, who already had kids of his own that I have no idea if he actually provided for them anything good in anyway. Steven Fucking Rivera.

          And it is at that moment, that if I knew then, what I know now, about how events would unfold. The horror and trauma of domestic violence, assault, drug abuse, the absolute hell that he would put Jo and Jess through for so many years, I would know that I would do what needed to be done.

          I would find some way to prepare him a “hot shot”, a syringe filled with so much heroin or fentanyl that it’d stop him cold. Let him drift off into the warm embrace of opiates one last time, a peaceful death, euthanasia, to prevent hell on Earth.

          If I could turn back time, that is what I would do.

          But we can’t turn back time, we have to live with the past as it happened, as our choices caused it to happen.

          But if that had happened, then I would never have been lost and lonely, seeking out contact with a like-minded soul wherever it could be found, and I would never have been on whatever twitter thread that led me to meet Amber Stone, someone who anchors me, who stops me from spinning off the face of the earth. Someone who forged a connection through 2,000 miles and a social media app that had my back when I was turned away by every single other person that said they cared about me. She was the one person that was there.

          And I will never let go of my Amber D. She saved me.

          So now, I am at a crossroads, but as Yogi Berra once said, when you come to a fork in the road, take it. I don’t know what the end result is going to be. I have a family in Jo and Jessana, I was there throughout her pregnancy, taking her to every appointment. I was there the day she was born. I knew her before she was her. And I was there for the very earliest years, pivotal times in the development of a child’s psyche. There is research that says babies do remember their earliest experiences, that even in the womb, the sound of the mother’s voice, and her stress and attachment hormones, affect the development of the mind of the child. And it is because of that, and what I feel in my heart, that I can say without a shred of doubt that even tho Jess didn’t get her DNA from me, and she calls Steven “dad”, that I am a father to her in a way no one else is. And I would sooner face the fires of hell than not be there to protect, and support, and teach my daughter how to love life, and love learning, and understanding, and witness awe inspiring things.

          So I walk this line, I figure it out, I thread the needle.

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          What Do I Win???

          checked

          the leader board

          and i’m already listed?!?

          this place must be

          deader than an

          mormon kegger.

          what do i win???

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          New

          Buckner And Steppenwolf

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              To Steppenwolf --and only Steppenwolf as far as I'm concerned--

              We should either discuss things and clear the air a bit, or we should cease trying to discuss things with each other--and you can choose which.

              If any discussion is to go forward, I request that you read what I actually write before you respond, that you recognize when I'm exaggerating or being ironic (even if you don't find it funny), that you not act as if I've commented on something when I haven't (I had no idea what your internet name referred to; I just use my own name and don't worry what others call themselves unless they bring it up. I'm vaguely familiar with Hermann Hesse but have not read Steppenwolf and have not pretended I have.) I did not seriously pretend to be quoting what you had said; I was exaggerating your comments for effect. I did accuse you (not Hesse) of hypocrisy* for first declaring that you found me unacceptable as someone to exchange comments with and indicating that you'd not be commenting on my stuff further, only to return to commenting on my posts not long afterwards. I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me, to think essays I post are interesting or correct, to appreciate my humor (often enough lame, I know), etc. But I see little or no point to someone (you) issuing insulting estimates of me, my posts, etc., just for the sake of doing so.

              We can block each other if you wish.

              *the word derives, as you may well know, from the reported words of Jesus in Matthew 6, where he described the pharisees and priests of pretending to be pious when in fact they were pompous and self-aggrandizing.

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              It's All About Love

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                  I attended the 2018 Diocesan Convention for, basically, the Episcopal Churches of Western Washington late last month.

                  Dent Davidson, is sitting at the piano in this video, was commissioned to write a song by Bishop Curry, they head of the Episcopal Church, to write a song. Everyone knows who Bishop Curry is-they guy who married Harry and Meagan Markel earlier this year.

                  He used to live in Seattle, so he brought to song to the Convention to perform for the very first time. Choir singers that were there showed up and saw the song for the very first time around 10am on Saturday morning. We practiced for 2 hours and went back to the Convention. We practiced an hour later in the afternoon, then sang the song in front of the attendees around 5pm that night.

                  I will say, when I first looked it over, I thought there was no way we would get it in that short of time, particularly when part of it was in Latin.

                  It was fun.


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                  A Very Special Veteran

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                      I haven't been on Yabberz much as life has been busy. Today I want to share the story of my Father In Law, Joseph Martin Cannaday. He passed peacefully in hospice at the age of 91. While gathering information for his funeral I found he served in WW2. Not something he talked about much. He was on the ship the Topica in 1945. He lived a wonderful life with 3 children and a wife of 63 yrs. He was the owner of the East Coast franchise of Fred Astaire Dance Studios which he sold at the age of 85. So in honor of his military service and his life of dance, I wanted to post a song.I love you dad and pray your next journey in eternity is full of love and that as your son said "You are teaching the angels to dance. https://youtu.be/RV-Z1YwaOiw Codeman is on active duty but will be sent home for your funeral.

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                      The Declaration Of Independence

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                          "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --- That to secure their rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."


                          The italic portion is very important to me because I have never truly felt safe or happy even after serving this country in the Armed Forces for 15 years. As a Black man in America it is very important to me that we find a way to "alter or to abolish" the current system of Government, so that it will truly represent my family and those people of color that the current system adversely affects.

                          To this date, in my opinion I and people of color have not truly been "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." I am not asking for anyone to agree with me. You have the right to believe as you choose and in some cases, some of you may believe you have realized some of the things above. However, my opinion may differ from yours and that is fine.


                          Please honestly ask yourself if the Government truly represents your wants and needs as a citizen.

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                          Pundit Post

                          Indiana Boy Battling Cancer Is Asking For Police Patches From All Over The Country

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                              Hey folks. A little something *not* Trump.

                              This little boy in Indiana is fighting cancer. He's asking for police patches and cards from all over the country. If you know anyone in law enforcement, please ask them to help this child fulfill his request. Let's make something good happen :) Thanks!

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