While I was watching the news story on the latest manifesto mailing, revolution minded, domestic terrorist. It struck me that I have met this same guy to some extent thousands of times in my life. It brought me back to the election and the pure anger and bewilderment I felt when I saw the country spit up a hairball to the highest office. After that incredibly personal gut punch I turned away from the media, I turned away from current events really and just concentrated on my life, taking care of myself and doing the things I thought enjoyable.
It was liberating, the time that I spent away was a real and telling look into a dubious addiction and the ways of life that go mostly unnoticed. The addiction to the news and information, the challenging of thoughts that were being mass injected into us. It all added up, my health suffered to a degree, my anxiety was nearer to the surface and my indignation and anger a friend all too often. I was reminded by a voice in my head from a recently passed fellow traveler that anger is a dubious luxury, and the wheels kept spinning.
When I was 8, I walked into my best friends house right behind him. His big brother was hiding behind a wall and as soon as he saw me pulled me to him with a huge hunting knife to my throat. I felt how freaking sharp that was and was terrified to move. He was taunting me with the old what are you going to do about it bit, and let me go after just about a minute. A minute that I haven't forgotten about all these years later, not that it was a focal point of a childhood impression of fear, rather the point where the pity of him took hold. He was a mercenary in training in his mind, he was going to go into the military and then get hired to kill people after that. What a great career goal for a sixteen year old, how silly was my oceanography aspirations?
Since the world seemed to be going to straight into the Twilight Zone, I was also away from the computer more. I was more intrigued with doing something estimable and pertinent to my life, my daily fare, my existence than I was with the troubles of the world. A clearer mind came about on many issues of self and that dubious luxury of free thought and free will, ran head to head with the reality that was presenting itself. In all truth over my lifetime 97% the news that most affected me personally was the weather. Not to negate the overall reporting of what is happening in the world, at the same time though who was I to try to comprehend world issues? I can't keep track of a soap opera for lack of interest, so why should I think I know who is doing what when I was at work? Who should the good guys and bad guys be in some not understood situation? What was the right thing to do when I wasn't there and who really knows all of the details?
What it brought me was the fact that people don't always know how to cope with themselves, let alone the information they receive. The manifesto writer, the vandal, a whacked out leader of a puppet regime, and even that guy in North Korea. These folks did not get the best helping of coping skills growing up, their skin as translucent as their behaviors. Acceptance just means Thank You and tolerance is a term for how well their wives and maids do the ironing. The things they find wrong in the world or their country based off of a bizarre compiling of information they just don't wish or understand let alone cope with. I don't judge them for that though, to a degree I think there are plenty of folks with varying degrees of coping issues. This past election I believe many of them came out of the woodwork like louse.
That brother of my friend is still around, never made it far into the military with his attitude. That blew his mind because he had trained for it hadn't he? He was a soldier in his mind, while in all reality he was just another angry and ill informed teenager. He went on to have four kids and live mostly off the government dime after being too ignorant on a job to follow safety regulations. The guy who used to call me fat boy when I was a kid is very much more rotund than I am wiry and he sits and drinks all day. He has a wife and four kids that according to his brother he started ignoring years ago. A proud supporter of our national embarrassment, and someone who couldn't find city hall if you shoved him in the front door. I am not saying all of his supporters are like this, but it sheds a light on this whole division of peoples we are witnessing in all of it's disgusting glory.
There is a degree of getting too much too soon, being raised by information gleaned from an incomplete and dysfunctional society models. The thing that got me about the video of the guy mailing the manifesto was how proud he was about his Y'uge letter to the Chicken Coup. The lettering on the address in a solid third grade block print, and a grin and glow of pride flowed from this adult man. This is a person that has issues with the government... Who then stole a crapload of guns... Yeah, coping skills have been well instilled into this one. It is not only about education, yet we are seeing the effects of many rooms full of monkey's on typewriters... It ain't Shakespeare.
This society is filled and filed with a cacophony of voices, of visual inputs, of audio control, and belief systems. Are we too surprised that so many of it's parts are incomplete or broken and breaking? Our news and media show us predominantly that when you do this, this happens. All of the bad things that you will be punished for. Behavior that is outside the norm and they control the messaging, they control the norm. So I can see where the older brother of lifelong friend can believe other messages, other news. He, like they, have never felt like anyone cared about them before, that anyone cared about their broken and incomplete imaginations of how this world is... to them. The anger association was all that was needed, the thinking elite, the ones that listened to the mainstream news couldn't possibly understand this. They were angry about their jobs being taken away by "illegals" when no such thing had happened, they just got angrier and angrier at a changing world that they couldn't or didn't know how to cope with. Their belief systems were being challenged and thumbed at, the world was changing and they didn't like it. Wow, what a luxury, society may have somewhat of a blueprint on how to survive in it, school, job, family ect... Life and most assuredly the world has never had those luxuries. When life takes you off of societies norms, you become a part of that other world that either knows how to cope or gets angrier. As far as voters go that's 50/50 at best and most likely 70% are the angry and incomplete ones.
I have my coping issues, I have my anxieties and my belief system(s). I have my addictions to many things including a penchant for the news and what I pick up as going on in the world. It is as much of an addiction as alcohol and drugs and brings about the same chemical reactions to many. It will drive angst and anxiety, fear and division to new and dangerous heights. Most of the people that I know have the ability to understand that there is much they do not know. Some do not, their ego's and many times their addiction for action instead of knowledge brings about untold consequences. Broken pieces of a complex world being pounded into a misfit mosaic will not and has never worked. Though here we are watching the ego driven and money minded, war hungry idiots trying it again.
The dubious luxuries, like discussing world hunger at dinner, water rights by a raging river, the affairs and the to do's of countries a world away. Yes they all effect and affect our lives and that is why the voting process should be more reverent. It should be raised to the highest point of competence once more. The layers of life and of the world and our basic securities depend upon it. I can understand a little bit more that separation in the layers of this onion a little bit more today. I have always thought it was an issue of empathy and compassion, but in all reality it could just be coping and sharing lost to the greedy training of a society pushing money not knowledge, belief systems instead of science. We can't be shown most of the good news on TV anymore because it may send a message, that it may show a religion, or a group, or something that would be seen pushing a message. A race, a need, a failure in leadership, the missing pieces of all of these things are intriguing, we do love a mystery. Though the fact remains for me that I cannot do much about the affairs of the world, or the donating for a cause. I do what I can, when I can and when I feel compelled to do so. When I stepped away from having that on my mind for those months I was a much better person. A much healthier person and a person more balanced and willing to cope. I am not saying to step away from this thing that we seem to do best. Just pointing out that even these ruminations and opinions about everything and anything are at times very dubious luxuries.
(Just an Opinion piece/observation, Sorry, I never know how to classify these things sometimes. With Mercury in retrograde this was the only thing that popped into my head this morning.) Cheers :)