Satire from The Borowitz Report

Trump Names Sarah Palin

Ambassador to Nambia

Photograph by Mary Altaffer / AP

By Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report

September 22, 2017

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump on Friday capped a busy week of diplomatic activity by naming the former Alaska governor Sarah Palin the United States Ambassador to Nambia.

By naming Palin to this diplomatic post, the United States has become the first nation in the world to formally recognize Nambia’s existence.

In a joint appearance with Trump at the White House, Palin acknowledged that she “didn’t know a lot about Nambia” but said that she was looking forward to receiving a comprehensive briefing on the nation’s history, culture, and customs from the Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos.

“Then it’s Nambia, here I come!” Palin exclaimed.

In a sign that Palin’s appointment was a popular move, a new poll shows that an overwhelming majority of Americans support her permanent relocation to Nambia.

Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com.

Borowitz Bonus:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pe...

Homeless or backpacker?

Where I am, take a ferry to Canada. National Park behind my house.

I think about them, wandering through town, backpackers have to register at the park, the sign on the highway says, and tells them where to go.

The weather's good, it's time to see that none of this belongs to any of us, it's a gift to all of us if we have the compassion to embrace it.

As in the Florida East Coast Railway's noble experiment in passenger-rail investment in south Florida, otherwise known as Brightline.

Still, would other rail operators be willing to attempt similar, never mind the risk?

(NAPSI)—This summer travel season may be the last year with train travel as an option for millions of Americans. The Administration’s proposed 2018 budget wipes out funding for almost all Amtrak trains except on the East and West coasts. More than 220 cities and towns will lose train service completely and 140 million people will completely lose an entire transportation mode.

“If Congress enacts this budget, our national passenger rail network will largely cease to exist,” said Jim Mathews, National Association of Railroad Passengers (NARP) president and CEO. “These cuts will have a profound economic impact both nationally, regionally and locally.”

http://www.valleymorningstar.com/online_features/m...

Got education?

LoL

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lilly-singh-ro...

I think everyone would agree, a dirty bathroom @ gas stations is a serious turnoff..

Here's a list of the cleanest!

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations...

Did anyone believe that this former CEO would not blindly leap to the defense of another CEO? That was to be expected, as they will almost tend to defend one another. So, this CEO calls the passenger immature, taking his clue from Munoz initial statement. What this shows, to me at least, is that we have one former CEO without a clue defending the current CEO without a clue.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/united-passenger-was-immature-former-continental-ceo-gordon-bethune-says/ar-BBzEQSe?ocid=iehp

Once the plane has taken off - the Seat can't be sold again!

SIMPLE

I have always wondered what happens when they overbook and the people who were sold the overbooked tickets, say no to changing flights.

Well here is the answer. It is not pretty! We are all becoming blades of grass!

@United overbook #flight3411 and decided to force random passengers off the plane. Here's how they did it: pic.twitter.com/QfefM8X2cW

@United overbook #flight3411 and decided to force random passengers off the plane. Here's how they did it: pic.twitter.com/QfefM8X2cW

— Jayse D. Anspach (@JayseDavid) April 10, 2017

Anyone got their holidays planned? It's still not too late to visit NK :)

Many North Koreans have literally never seen a foreigner before - even on the Internet, to which they are denied access - and may be surprised to discover that Americans, for instance, do not have horns. We, the tourists, may similarly be surprised to observe that the average North Korean is not a swivel-eyed fanatic but downtrodden and fearful-looking. If you stop the tours you re-seal the membrane, to the detriment, I would argue, of both sides.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/asia/north-korea/articles/why-tourists-should-still-go-to-north-korea/